In Search of the Perfect Red
I have never been very good with makeup. I always feel I look unnatural, and I definitely do not like the feeling of foundation on my face, and I swear I can feel the weight of mascara on my lashes.
In high school, I wore some makeup…eye shadow mostly, then curled my lashes and applied mascara, “rouge” (as we then called it) and usually a lip gloss. I never took much care over these foundations of girlhood; I was an athlete and although I liked the way I looked with basic makeup, it was never much more than basic makeup.
Throughout my life, I have seen beautiful women flaunt their beautiful lips with stunning red. I tried it. It always looked wrong on me. Too orange, too dark, too bluish, it never seemed the right shade for my skin, or it just brought too much attention to my lips. I always ended up with a mauve-y shade of pink. Despite this, when I would see a beautiful red tube in a store, I would feel compelled to bring it home and check, just once more, to see if I would look good in red. In time, I acquired quite a collection.
Every great lipstick has to feel comfortable on my lips. It has to be smooth, and if it smells chemically, I’m out. I don’t need it to stain my lips for the whole day, but I don’t want it to be gone upon my first sip of coffee either. I don’t want a lipstick I have to reapply every hour, because I simply won’t do it. Too many times, I have put on lipstick in the morning, plopped the tube into my purse for use later, left my purse in the car for the day, only to find melted, deformed sticks of color when I finally remembered to look. I have wasted so much for the sake of a great looking smile, but I have never gotten it right.
But now, as I embrace 53, and am actively in the process of “going gray,” I need a pop of red. I need to learn to accept this hidden boldness in myself and project it onto my face. I have never been very comfortable in my own skin, but that is changing slowly. I think I am becoming more comfortable simply because, when there is no way I can live up to the modern youthful idea of beauty, there is no use in trying. Why not live up to my own view of beauty, and embrace what I have? Why not try bold, red lips that go out into the world saying “I have something to say!!”
So, I commit myself to finding a red I feel good in, a red that can become my signature. I will first go through every lipstick I own and discard any that don’t fit the criteria of good color and comfort. Maybe there is already a red in there that I skipped over back when I felt too bold in it. I have done some “research,” a la Google, for lists of classic favorite reds and will be headed to a big department store to try these out. I will write again after that journey is complete. But here is my at- home journey:
